Saturday, April 13, 2013

Thank God...because I couldn't live without buttercream or wine

My legs used to itch...a lot.  Like itch through my jeans so much that my legs would bruise...and at night, I would itch until I bled.  Good times.  I would always have to wear panty hose or tights because my legs were so damaged.  There was no rash...just itching.  I tried lotions, creams, prescriptions, seances, an exorcism, etc.  Nothing worked.

When I was pregnant, one of my midwives suggested trying a gluten free diet.  I was waaaay too hungry at the time to eliminate any sort of food.  Plus I had been tested for Celiac's Disease twice, and was negative...twice.

I decided to give a gluten free diet a try...just to show that it was totally not gluten.  Two weeks without bread, and I could totally cross this off the list.  So I made up a bunch of lunches of chicken, veggies, and potatoes.  "It isn't gluten!"  I kept telling myself.

It totally was gluten...$%$@#$%!!!

After only two days, I noticed that the itching was gone.  After two weeks the large eczema patch on my stomach that had been there for over a year disappeared.  Shit, this was not the plan.

I really like bread...really. like. bread.
And also cake...mmmm....cake. 
I've been 80% gluten free for two months.  Basically I avoid anything with flour.  Dairy, potatoes, rice, fat, potato chips, buttercream, and wine are all ok...thank God...because I couldn't live without buttercream or wine.  It also isn't an allergy; it is just an intolerance...so if I eat gluten it isn't the end of the world...my world is just a little itchier.

So if you see me throw away the yummy roll that Panera gives you, don't think that I've completely lost it, but if you taunt me with warm, fresh baked bread, I am likely to punch you...just FYI.